Perfectionism is the Death of Homeschooling!!!

That’s my new motto: “Perfectionism is the Death of Homeschooling!!!” What was my old motto you ask? I’d have to say it was, “Parenting is a humbling experience!!!” LOL

Over the last ten years I have read MANY, MANY books on homeschooling. Most of them have been helpful. Most of them have been inspiring. I usually finish the book feeling that I have found the “right” way to home-school. But experience has taught me that there is no “right” way to home-school. And what works in my house might not work in yours. And what works in my house this week or this month or this year, may not work in my house next week or next month or next year. And what works with Child A might not work with Child B, C, or D. So what is a homeschooling mother to do?

For me, I have come to realize that my perfectionism was the death of my homeschooling and of me!!! I am a first-born with a Type-A personality. I want all my ducks in a row every minute of the day!!! But you know what, that’s not a healthy way to live as demonstrated by my high blood pressure.

A number of years ago, I read a book called The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer. While I’m sure that the author of this book had the best of intentions when she wrote it, I fear that many children have been sent back to school because of the unrealistic expectations set by this book. I love the four year history cycle explained in this book and continue to use it. But I had to learn to set aside its unworkable schedule and ideals.

So now I seek to be more level-headed in my choices for my homeschooling and in my expectations for my children and myself. I now enjoy sites such as Guilt-Free Homeschooling. I am not as quick to purchase every new book or material that I see. I try to think about what I am really trying to accomplish when I make a curriculum choice or an activity choice. These are the kinds of questions I try to ask myself as I make these choices for my children:

Is this (curriculum, activity, etc.) really going to add something wonderful to our lives or is this just something to do?

Does my daughter want to be a professional dancer? No, then why am I carting her to dance 6 days a week?

Does my son want to be a professional basketball player? No, then why am I considering putting him on a second basketball team.

Am I more concerned about the product on a written page than I am about the product which is my child? Because truly, these pages of finished math problems will mean nothing if my child doesn’t know and love the Lord, and doesn’t function well in our family and in society.

So as I look back on the first half of this, my 10th year of homeschooling, I try to remind myself of what is truly important in my life and the lives of my child AND I will continue to chant my new mantra:

PERFECTIONISM IS THE DEATH OF HOMESCHOOLING!!!

And yes, parenting still is a humbling experience…